


Before We're Gone

by WoorEnergy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brotherly Analogical - Freeform, Deaf Character, Deaf Roman Sanders, Do Not Repost to Other Sites, Established Relationship, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Remus Sanders, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Queerphobia, Internalized polyaphobia, Intruloceit, M/M, Mermaid!Logan, Multi, Mute Logan Sanders, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Morality | Patton Sanders, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous Janus Sanders, Polyamorous Logan Sanders, Polyamorous Remus Sanders, Polyamory, Relationship Problems, Self-Esteem Issues, established Dukeceit, idk if there's a name for that sorry, mermaid!au, mermaid!virgil, mute character, remus is a self-conscious bby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25809412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoorEnergy/pseuds/WoorEnergy
Summary: Remus and Janus, two lovers and marine biologists, moved to a small town of Florida for their work. Upon hearing rumors and legends about this town being the main shelter for mermaids, Remus is excited and cannot wait to start xir researches. Janus, however, is well-grounded and does not believe in such childish fairy tales.He has no reason to. Mermaids were and would for ever be myths.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 29
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sooo yup. here we are. This time I'll try not to give up on that fanfic, but I can't promise anything ;w;  
> my url on tumblr is woorenergy if you want to find me !!
> 
> (oh also, if any of you read my old fanfics : it's normal if they don't appear anymore, I deleted all of them after someone was taking fanfics from ao3 to copy them to their garbage app. I got scared ok ??)
> 
> anyway enjoy this mess !! and please leave a kudo and a comment if you enjoy it, that would really mean a lot to me !!

_Fourteenth of July, 2020_

_Thomas advised me to keep track of my progress, hence why I'm currently writing this. He does not always have terrible ideas, so I supposed I could give it a try._

_Remus and I arrived yesterday in our new house, and we were beyond exhausted after moving and unpacking everything, so little to no work has been done. Actually, Remus tried to work behind my back, but I stopped xem before xe fell asleep on the desk- again. I truly appreciate xir dedication, but xe doesn't know when to stop, and xe needed some rest._

_Everyone at home told me Nanotown is full of surprises and interesting discovers to make, yet none of my coworkers has ever been there before, which is quite odd. People barely know this place exists, I don't even think there is a single tourist- well, I guess it is for the greater good : the less population there is, the better I am doing. I just hope no one will be at the beach, for we are supposed to be there most of the time for our researches. We cannot bother with strangers._

_I don't know how long we will stay here. Weeks, months, years, even, if we like the place. All I hope is that we will find anything worth studying.  
_

“Janus ? Hey, Jay, where are you ?”

Upon hearing Remus' voice, Janus put his notebook and pen away, then left the room. He spotted Remus standing in the entrance, easily holding two huge boxes in xir arms.

“Look, we forgot these ones in the truck yesterday. Oh, and your wheelchair is still on the backseat, you want me to take it out now ?”

“Ah, please do my love.” As Janus approached his partner to take a closer look at the boxes, he raised an eyebrow. “Huh ? We didn't label these ones ?”

“Yeah, I packed these in a hurry since the landlord was so impatient to kick our asses out, so I must have forgotten to do it. It's really not heavy though, it must be the rest of our clothes, I think. Anyway, can you take them to the bedroom ? I'll be right back.”

Before Janus could add anything else, his arms were full of boxes, and Remus was rushing outside. He chuckled, happy to see xem be going flat out ; well, xe always was energetic and ready to face a difficult day, but he absolutely noticed how distant xe had started growing. That was unusual, to say the least, since Remus was a very open person, so he enjoyed these moments of euphoria. They gave him strength.

Shaking his head to chase those thoughts away, Janus walked to their bedroom and put the boxes on the bed. As he quickly opened them, he realized Remus was right, it was just some clothes and other belongings that they had forgotten last night- nothing really fragile nor interesting. In the rush of having their little house ready, they probably didn't even remember these two, alone in the truck.  
Janus started unpacking them, now that they had furniture to put everything away, but soon, at the bottom of the first one, he felt something peculiar under his fingers. Moving all the stuff away, he saw something that definitely didn't belong to him ; it was a spiral notebook- a really damaged one, as if it had been to many other houses before. The front cover was a deep green and covered in various stickers, some that Janus recognized since he offered them to Remus.

This belonged to Remus, no doubts about it, but the young man was puzzled. Xe wasn't really secretive (and xe was a terrible liar anyway), yet it looked like this notebook was specifically placed here to be hidden from anyone to see. He knew his partner well, after all- at least he hoped he did.

“There you go Jay, your wheelchair's in the living room ! Now we're all-” As Remus entered the room, xir eyes landed on the notebook in Janus' hands and xe froze at the doorstep, wide-eyed, as silent as a tomb.

“Thank you, darling. I found this in one of the boxes, I assume it's yours ?”

“Yes... D-Did you read it ?” Remus asked, but xir tone sounded more like an affirmation.

“I didn't. We may live together, but-”

“Okay, great, thank you !” And with that, Remus almost snatched up the notebook from Janus' hands and kept it close to xir chest. “I'll put that thing away, yeah ?”

“Remus, you're acting weird. If you want to tell me something-”

“I have nothing to tell you, because everything's fine ! That junk- it's not even important anyway. Forget about it, okay ?”

“Right, you're talking an awful lot for someone who has 'nothing to tell me'.”

Janus didn't feel at all impressed by the death glare Remus gave him. What he didn't expect, however, was Remus leaving the room without a word, xir notebook in hand ; that wasn't like xem to avoid any kind of conflict, let alone let Janus have the last word. He knew xe was a little touchy, so maybe xe was upset at the thought of Janus invading xir privacy ? They had known each other for years though, xe knew he would never do such a thing unless he had xir permission.  
Once again, Janus tried to repress these thoughts and kept on tidying the bedroom. It was hard not to worry about his partner, but if xe was going to keep silence, was else could he possibly do ? Beg xem to talk to him ?

...Not that he ever considered this possibility. Not at all.

Once he was done with the boxes, Janus went back to the living room and almost fell into the wheelchair waiting for him with a deep sigh. Bending over and pulling the left leg of his pants up, he took a look at his prosthetic. He was tempted to take it off and stay in his chair for the rest of the day, but he had errands to run, and he knew by experience that being in a wheelchair in town was, for lack of better words, a pain in the ass.  
And, yes, he could ask Remus for some help, but xe already seemed so anxious and overwhelmed that it was probably a bad idea. He'll just keep his prosthetic for the rest of the day and actually take it off once he will be back home, even if he was already exhausted.

Painfully leaving his seat, he started gathering his stuff left at the four corners of the house. The place wasn't that big per se (there wasn't even a second floor), but Janus had a hard time to get use to it. He was so used to his little routine and his cramped apartment, he forgot that, one day, he will have to leave all of this behind to get a bigger, better place. Besides, he underestimated the fatigue after a house move.

“Remus ? Remus, I'm going in town for a while,” he says, loudly enough for his partner to hear. “Do you need anything ?”

After a moment of silence, Remus rushed into the living room, breathless. “I- Sorry sugarpie, I was outside. What did you say ?”

“It's okay. I said I had to go in town, do you need me to get you anything ?”

“You don't need to, I'm coming with you !”

Janus blinked, taken aback by Remus' sudden change of mood. It was as if they had never discussed of that notebook. “Um... Sure thing, but I thought you wanted to set up the laboratory while I'm gone. You've already driven a lot yesterday, you know.”

“Nah, it's okay, I promise ! Besides, I'll get to see the town a little. It looks so lovely !”

“Yes... I suppose so. Well, I'm ready if you want to go, now.”

“Yup ! Just- go to the truck, I'll be there in a minute.”

Janus opened his mouth to ask something, but Remus was already gone in one of the rooms.  
He couldn't find the strength to wonder why his partner acted like this. Cold and irritable during a fight, then all happy and giggly a few minutes after. Well, he supposed it was better than seeing xem sulk over the dumbest quarrel they had- as xe usually did, yet it was such a new, unusual behavior, Janus couldn't help but think there was a bigger matter at hand. He was known to be an over-thinker, and Remus surely gave him a lot to think about.

At last, he went to the truck, waiting for Remus to join him. Xe followed soon after, getting out of the house and climbing into the vehicle.

“What were you doing in there ?”

“Oh- just looking for my wallet, don't worry.” As xe belted xirself, xe buried a hand into the pocket of xir jeans, probably looking for the key car. “Hey, babe ?”

“Mhm ?”

“Listen, I- I'm sorry I've been so... weird, recently. I mean- not like my usual weird, but like... really annoying, y'know ?”

“You're not annoying, gorgeous.”

Remus scoffed, as if xe didn't believe Janus' words. “Yeah, well, annoying or not, I haven't been really easy to deal with. Like, you're always so patient, you never yell at me, and I- I'm just super irritating. Do you forgive me ?”

“Oh, of course I do.” Gently, Janus cupped Remus' cheek. “I get it, seriously. The house move must have been so stressful for you. All of this is new, and we didn't really have time to rest either.”

Silence fell on the two lovers, and for a moment, Janus thought he had said something even more stupid than before.

“Yeah... yeah, that's- that's it,” Remus finally answered, stuttering. “Anyway, we should get going now.”

And Janus knew he couldn't really question xem more. Remus started the car, and the couple was on its way to the town.

* * *

“I'm not doing anything for a whole week, now,” Janus groaned as he collapsed on a chair in the kitchen.

“Hey, don't give up on me just yet ! You have to help me put the groceries away !”

Janus let out a whine of despair, but still got up to help his partner. They had not bought much, but the trip to the grocery store had been tiring, just as expected.  
Janus had not realized how small their kitchen was until now- not that he cared, but Remus, as the only good cook of the couple, was slightly disappointed at the lack of space. Janus could easily live off pasta anyway, but it was nice to be with someone who had an everlasting love for cooking. That gave him an excuse to be lazy once in a while.

“What are you gonna do today ?” Remus asked as he opened the fridge.

“Get some well-deserved rest for a while, and then I'll see. My leg hurts like hell.”

“Wh- And you went without your wheelchair !?” Remus suddenly exclaimed as xe turned around from whatever xe was putting away in the fridge.

Janus could feel his cheeks heating up. “Look, it's already difficult to use it outside the house, and since you wanted to come with me, I didn't want to slow you down.”

“But baby, you could've stayed home instead, I would've understood !”

“I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. I'm hurt, not dying.”

As he went to one of the cupboards, he jumped when he felt a pair of arms wrapping around his waist, but immediately calmed down as soon as he was brought closer to Remus' chest.

“You can't help but worry about me, huh ?”

“I just wish you could cut yourself some slack from time to time. You always make sure I don't overwork myself, why would it be any different for you ?”

His heart sank at Remus' words. “Because I know my limits, what my body can or can't do. It's not the same.”

When Remus took a step back, Janus thought he would be able to finish what he had begun ; however, he quickly felt his partner's hands back on him, one under his knees and the other on his back. Despite knowing what was coming, he was taken aback, a yelp escaping his mouth as he was carried bridal style.

“For Christ's sake, what are you doing !?”

Remus shrugged, a shit-eating grin plastered on xir face. “I'm taking you to the living room. You've done enough for today !”

Janus wanted to argue, to wiggle his way out of Remus' arms, but the way xe was effortlessly holding him in xir arms was getting to him in the best way possible- although he would never have admitted it. Xir usual shows of strength always had an impact on the smaller man anyway, but being carried as if he weighted nothing was on the top of the list.  
Eventually, Remus reached the living room and, as gently as xe could, dropped xir boyfriend on the couch.

“You didn't have to,” Janus mumbled, his face heating up again.

“I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to. Now stay here and relax.” Remus laughed at Janus' pout. “Don't give me that look, pretty boy, that won't work !”

“Alright, fine, go do your thing ! But come back here as soon as you're done.”

“You know I will !”

Once they exchanged a quick kiss, Remus went back to the kitchen, leaving xir lover alone for a moment. Janus wasn't worried, per se ; if he ever had a problem, he knew Remus would sprint back here to help him. Xe was just like that. He just wished he didn't say the truth, knowing how Remus usually acted whenever he was slightly hurt.

True to xir word, Remus came back after a while, throwing xirself on the available space of the couch next to xir boyfriend. Janus was still lying on it, one leg hanging off the couch and the other barely taking space now that the prosthetic had been taken off.

“You good ? Do you want me to get you something ?” Xe asked, his hands coming to gently rub Janus' thigh.

“I'm okay, don't worry. Honestly, I'm just relieved that we're almost done with everything.”

“M'yeah, tell me about it.” As if xe had suddenly remembered something, Remus' eyes lightened up. “Hey, you know what ? Thomas told me this town had a lot of legends about mermaids !”

“Really ?” Janus chuckled.

“Yup ! I absolutely have to go to the library, to check if there are any books about them. Who knows, maybe one day I'll actually find one ! Can you imagine ? I'd be so happy to study it ! They must be so cool !”

As Remus kept on rambling about xir interest, xir boyfriend smiled but shook his head disapprovingly. He didn't want to upset xem, but he was absolutely certain that mermaids would for ever be myths, and nothing more. They've had many debates about these creatures before, and Remus was insisting on finding one, one day, even if they had disagreed many, many times : that wasn't enough to discourage xem.

“You know, you're an amazing marine biologist,” Janus sighed once Remus was done talking, “but I'm sure you could've been a good masseur as well.”

“Glad to hear that. You feel better, yeah ?”

“Mhm." As he was starting to close his eyes, Janus remembered something he wanted to ask to the other. "Oh, by the way, do you know if Thomas is supposed to come today ? He told me he'd visit once we're all set up, but that idiot didn't give me a specific date or anything.”

“Uh... hold on,” Remus hummed, one of xir hands leaving Janus' leg to check xir phone. “Yeah, he asked me last night if he could come by and say hi today, but I told him to wait. I didn't know when we would be done with the house, and I didn't want to bother you.”

“That's very thoughtful of you, love. But you know Thomas doesn't bother me- actually, I think he's the only coworker I can stand, so he can hang around as much as he wants. And for the house... Well, you can ask him for a little help if you really need to.”

“Yeah, good idea !”

Janus chuckled at the sight of Remus enthusiastically typing an answer to Thomas, a happy grin on xir face. Remus had met Thomas before Janus even knew he existed, and quickly became friends- which was kind of surprising, to be honest. By the way Remus described Thomas' personality after their first encounter, the man was convinced these two would hate each other, since they were complete opposites. Yet, they got along so quickly it impressed him, and they were very complementary coworkers as well.

Janus blinked when he suddenly felt a hand running through his hair and a pair of lips against his forehead. He looked up, only to see Remus smiling fondly at him.

“Was I zoning out again ?” Janus asked, yet already knowing the answer.

“Yup. I was talking and noticed you weren't listening anymore.”

“Ugh, sorry darling.”

“No, no- it's okay, I know you don't do it on purpose. This- I wasn't really talking about relevant stuff anyway.”

Janus frowned at this. “Honey, don't say that. I love to hear you talk, you know ? You always sound so passionate-”

“You don't need to butter me up, Janus.”

For a few seconds, he found himself speechless at the unexpected change in Remus' behavior. Here they were again, and it was quick.

“I was being sincere, truly.” Janus had no intentions to raise his voice ; he was more confused than anything else at the moment. “What has gotten into you these past few days ?”

Janus noticed the way Remus tried not to look at him, all of a sudden, and xe took a few seconds to answer. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Remus, I know you do. You've been acting different, recently, and I'm convinced this has nothing to do with the house moving as you claimed earlier. I'm not as dumb as you may think, you-”

“I don't think you're dumb ! I never did !” Xe exclaimed, tears gathering in xir eyes. “You know what ? It's not even important. I'll be in the lab if you need me.”

“Hey ! We're not done-”

But before Janus could finish his sentence, his partner rushed out of the room, leaving him on his own. He could hear xem hurrying to the laboratory and slamming the door behind xem.  
Janus had no idea what had just happened. Again, everything was as fine as it could be, then Remus... got irritated over something insignificant and left. Xe didn't even seem mad at Janus- xe clearly said xe didn't mind him zoning out from time to time. So, how did things escalate so quickly ? What had he done or said to trigger such a strange reaction ?

“That won't do,” Janus mumbled under his breath and started getting up from the couch, managing to reach the wheelchair he had left nearby. He would have gladly stayed here, lying down, but Remus was far more important than his well-being for the time being.

As he started to get to the laboratory, someone knocked on the front door, interrupting him. He couldn't help but groan.

“Who's there ?” He yelled, hopefully loud enough for the visitor to hear.

“Um- it's Thomas ! Remus told me I could pay you a visit.”

Of course.

As he turned around, Janus moved to the front door and opened to his friend. He was met with a seemingly excited Thomas, a bright smile painted on his face.

“My, my,” Janus hummed, smirking, “someone looks happy to see me again.”

“What can I say ? It's only been a few days, but I missed you guys !” With that, Thomas knelt in front of him and offered him a hug. Janus rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but deep down, he loved how easily his friend could show his affection to others. He didn't quite hug him back, but gently patted his head instead.

“Sooo, what do you think of the house ?” He asked, rising back to his feet.

“Well, it's always better than what we used to live in,” Janus chuckled, “but yeah, it's nice in here. Remus kept saying we found the right gem when we were told this one was available.”

"Yeah, xe's good at finding cool spots."

Janus held a sigh back at the mention of his partner- he had no idea if xe even wanted to see Thomas anymore, nor how xe would react upon his visit.

“Are you okay ? You look... tired.”

Janus blinked at this question, taken back, then shook his head, hopefully dismissing Thomas' concerns. “I always look tired, kiddo. Now please enter, unless you want to sleep on the front steps.”

“Ah- right ! Thank you. I'll go see Remus, if you don't mind.”

“Make yourself at home.”

As Janus pointed the direction to the laboratory, Thomas made his way over there, leaving Janus alone again. The small man listened carefully, looking for any sign of an escalating situation, but he didn't notice anything alarming. Besides, both their voices were almost inaudible from the living room. The laboratory was probably soundproofed, for all he knew.

Eventually, the two friends came back, Thomas rambling about the town as Remus was following close behind him, an exhausted but still genuine smile on his face.

"I have so many things to show you guys ! Like- not only for work, but just to hang out together. I know this place well, so I can be your guide, what do you think ?"

"That sounds delightful Thomas, but we'd like some alone time this week-end. Unless you want to join him, my love."

Remus suddenly shook xir head, as if they just realized their coworker was addressing to xem. "Ah, no- sorry Tommy, but I need some rest too. Maybe next week ?"

"Oh- totally ! I won't be bothering you any more today, don't worry. I just wanted to check if you were both feeling okay in your new house."

"That's sweet of you," Janus admitted with a pleased smile.

"Why don't you come back on Monday ? We can have lunch together !"

The two men turned to Remus, and Thomas enthusiastically nodded. "Sounds great ! Well, feel free to call me if you need anything. I don't live far away anyway."

As soon as Thomas left the room and closed the door behind him, Janus grabbed Remus by the wrist before xe could escape to the laboratory once again. Janus expected xem to be pissed off, but xe looked more resigned than anything else, xir eyebrows a little furrowed and almost frozen in the same position.

"Remus, we need to talk."

"Or we could just forget that happened and focus on literally anything else," xe mumbled, barely trying to get out of Janus' grip as xe avoided his stare.

"Wh- Just "forget that happened" !?" Janus immediately let go off Remus as soon as he saw xem flinch. "Sorry, I'm sorry- I didn't mean to yell."

"I-It's okay- I don't care, okay ?" Taking a deep breath, Remus crouched to be on the same level as Janus. "There's nothing to be concerned about, Jay. I've always been a little moody, and you never questioned it until now."

"But this is different- _you're_ different. Don't try to tell me otherwise, I know that something's up."

For a moment, Remus was silent, barely looking at Janus. Xe moved xir hands to xir boyfriend's, and squeezed them a little.

"You can't help but worry about me, huh ?"

"I always worry about you, that's just who I am."

Janus smiled, apparently satisfied with the chuckle escaping Remus' mouth. The latter gently put xir head on the man's lap, not letting go of his hands once. Xe even squeezed them a bit harder, as if xe wanted to make sure Janus wasn't going anywhere.

"I love you, Remus," He whispered to his partner, bringing one of xir hands to his lips. "I will always love you and be proud of you, no matter what."

"I love you too, Jay." As xe suddenly looked up, xe grinned, fatigue still obvious in xir eyes. "Wanna help me with the lab now ?"

Janus chuckled at xir eagerness and backed up a little to have more space to move. "Lead the way, darling."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo yup. sorry for the delay, but you guys will have to get used to it. I have a lot of things going on, and I'm a slow writer lol
> 
> Anyway I hope you'll like this chapter, and please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoy this fic !! that would mean a lot

_Seventeenth of July, 2020_

_We have been busy setting up the laboratory for the rest of the evening, last Friday. It took us more time than anticipated, but our efforts were not in vain. It feels like we have our own workplace, and I know it will be quite useful for our researches- well, at least it will be handy since we won't have to drive to our old place every day anymore. We spent the rest of the week-end having some rest after that- although I decided to look through a couple of files and rearranging some of my stuff to keep myself occupied._

_Remus, still a little irritated and distant after our last conversation, seemed quite_ _ecstatic_ _as well. If I have to be honest, most of the ideas to organize the laboratory were xirs. Xe is one of the smartest person I hav_ _e met, I am lucky to be working with xem._

As Janus' cheeks heated up, he growled and crossed out the last sentence. This notebook was supposed to recount the most recent events about his work _only_ , not about the... rest. If he was going to talk about how he felt, it would be about a new discovery he made- even so, he had to be as objective as possible. It was for the sake of his work, after all.  
Before he could keep writing, a hand reached out to him to push his notebook and pen away. Janus blinked, only to soften when he saw Remus' head poking from under the covers. Xir messy hair was sticking in all directions, getting in xir face, and xir eyes were open just enough to see xir boyfriend.

“I'm sorry darling, did I wake you up ?”

“Nah, it's just- fucking nine in the morning,” xe yawned, snuggling against Janus' side with xir cheek against his ribs, “you can do that later.”

“I'm afraid I'll forget something important if I don't write it down now.” Janus chuckled when Remus gave him xir best puppy eyes. “Please ? I promise I'll give you my undivided time and attention after this.”

“Fine, but be quick.”

Janus playfully rolled his eyes. “So generous of you to let me work.”

He immediately held his breath, thinking Remus would get upset at this comment, but xe simply snorted and rolled on xir other side, showing xir bare back to the other.  
As quickly as he could, Janus wrote everything he had in mind at the moment- which wasn't much, considering the amount of work they had done. Yet, he couldn't wait to start exploring the waters with Remus, to discover if Nanotown was truly a place full of mysteries as people told him. Well, they _did_ hear about strange events and activities surrounding this place long before they even thought about visiting (otherwise they wouldn't have moved here), but Janus wasn't that much of an optimistic- his enthusiasm was only the product of his love for his work, and the fact he didn't have to see his other coworkers anymore (at least not as much). Doing something he loved more than anything, with _someone_ he loved more than anyone, now that was a plan he could get behind.

Finally closing his notebook that he put on the nightstand, Janus turned to his side, his elbow supporting his weight as his other hand came to Remus' waist. His partner didn't immediately react, but eventually faced him, a mischievous smile stretching xir lips.

“What are you thinking about ?” Janus chuckled, fully knowing what that face meant.

Gently pushing Janus on his back again, Remus rolled to him so xe could lay on top of him, rubbing xir face against his shirt, as if xe was a cat asking to be pet and taken care of.

“Mh... I'm not leaving this bed anytime soon, am I ?”

“Nope.” Remus left a kiss on his collarbone. “And don't you dare complain about it.”

“Oh, I'm not, really,” Janus admitted, running a hand through xir messy hair, “it's just that Thomas is supposed to come over today, remember ?”

“Ah, shit- you're right.”

“You can still cancel what we had planned if you don't want to see him.”

“No, no, I do, I just forgot.” This time, xe pressed xir lips on the side of Janus' neck. “It'd suck for him to cancel at the last moment, and I really want to see more than the grocery store in this town. You can stay here if you need some more rest, though.”

Janus shook his head. “No, it's okay. I want to be there, too. Besides, I'll need your help this afternoon. I need to take a few samples in the water, and we still have to put away some stuff in the lab.”

“Ugh, I thought we were done with this !”

“I guess we took a _lot_ of stuff with us.” Janus couldn't repress a snort at the sound of despair Remus made. “Aw, don't be like that. You knew moving here would be a lot of work, didn't you ?”

“Yeah... Well, not really. I was just so excited to be able to work with you only, I kind of forgot we were going to, you know... _actually_ work.”

The two lovers fell silent, as Janus kept playing with Remus' hair, winding his fingers in it over and over. If he had to be honest, it was his favorite thing to do whenever they loafed in bed together. He cherished these kinds of moment, so intimate and precious to him.

“You're adorable,” Janus said with a sheepish smile.

“It's your fault though, I didn't use to be so sappy before we met.”

"You liar, I just unlocked the secret mode."

"Pfft, you nerd." When xir phone buzzed, Remus quickly checked the text xe had just received. “Ah, it's little Tommy. He says he'll be here in ten minutes.”

“We should probably get ready.”

But before Janus could even sit on the edge of the bed, Remus grabbed his shoulder, keeping him against the mattress.

“Hey ! Aren't you forgetting something ?”

Janus narrowed his eyes, trying to remember whatever Remus would usually ask from him in the morning. “...I love you ?”

“Meh, close enough, but I just wanted a kiss.”

“Ah, I can do that.”

Remus seemed satisfied with this answer and, slowly leaning over to him, Janus propped himself up on his elbow so they could meet halfway. The man felt like he was turning into a puddle as soon as their lips touched ; this was another reason why he loved waking up next to his lover. Remus was eccentric, bold and loud- and Janus adored this, really, but he also appreciated that quieter, softer part of xem, that part only him was lucky enough to witness.

Swallowing back a disappointed whine when Remus broke the kiss, Janus could feel his face burning simply from this contact, but also from that look Remus had in xir eyes.

“Stop staring at me like that and go put some clothes on, you animal,” Janus hissed, barely convinced by his own words. “I don't want Thomas to see you like this.”

Shrugging, Remus finally decided to leave the bed in all his naked glory as xe stretched. Xe started gathering some clothes, grabbing one of Janus' shirt inadvertently.

“I love how you talk about him as if he was our kid,” Remus eventually snorted as xe made xir way to the bathroom.

“Feels like it, sometimes.”

Janus heard Remus' cackling in the distance, then the sound of the bathroom door being closed. He tried ignoring the fact their coworker and friend was about to come in five minutes and got ready for the day.  
  


* * *

"I'm so glad you guys are finally discovering this place !"

Janus and Remus shared an amused look. They had rarely seen Thomas so enthusiastic before- well, he wasn't that much on a pessimistic in the first place, but seeing him so passionate about something he knew and loved was something they would never get bored of. There wasn't much to see around here, except for a few statues here and there about the history surrounding the town, the village square, and something that immediately caught Remus' attention : the library.

As soon as they had stopped in front of the old building, Remus' eyes lightened up. Xe turned to Janus, and the man just knew that whatever xir question was, his answer was gonna be "yes".

“Is it okay if I take a quick look ? There are books I've been hoping to find in here... I promise I won't be long !”

“You do you, my sweet. I don't know if I'll enjoy myself in here though, so I'm probably gonna go for a walk on the beach. If you don't mind, that is,” Janus quickly added, lacing his fingers with Remus', who shook xir head in response.

“Of course not. You can call me or Thomas if there's any problem !”

“Yup ! See you later, Janus !” Their coworker added.

Nodding to the two of them, he left a kiss on Remus' cheek and waved at Thomas before walking in direction of the beach. From afar, he could hear Remus' excited, high-pitched voice as xe entered the library with Thomas. He couldn't help but smile ; his partner being passionate about xir interests was one of his favorite things to witness.

As soon as he caught himself thinking about Remus again, he felt his heart missing a beat and his face heating up. Recently, he noticed that, whenever he started getting lost in his own thoughts (which was roughly ninety percent of the time, if he had to be honest), it always went back to the person he decided to share his life with. He couldn't help it ; Patton always said he was a bit of a hopeless romantic, and even though he had always dismissed the idea, he was starting to think his cousin were right.

Before Janus knew it, his steps had already led him to the shore, and the first thing he noticed was the few fishes lying around. Some had missing tails, others missing heads, and the rest looked like they had simply washed ashore and died pathetically here. There were not a lot, but enough for Janus to know that something was up. That was strange, especially considering he had never noticed this when they first visited the house a few weeks ago. Still, he decided that a few dead animals weren't going to stop him.

As he started taking a few steps in the sand, careful not to approach the water or step on the fishes, he heard a voice behind him.

“Hey ! You must be Janus, yeah ?”

Janus turned around to meet with a tall woman standing to the shore as well. She didn't hold out her hand to him and simply waved at him instead.

“Yes, Janus himself. Uh, how do you know my name ?”

“Ah, sorry- I'm Valerie, Thomas' friend. We saw each other at the library, and he told me you'd be around here.”

“You say that as if I'm a cryptid or something,” he snorted. “But seriously, did you need anything ?”

“Oh, I just wanted to have a couple words with you, since you're new in town. I'm sure you have some questions to ask.”

Janus smiled at her and nodded in agreement. He barely knew anything about this girl, but he appreciated how straight-forward she was. Besides, if she had lived here for a while, it would be useful for his work to listen to what she had to say.

“Well,” he hummed, a finger on his chin, “I never saw a fishing boat once around here, I thought this town would make some kind of profit out of the sea.”

“Ah, then you haven't heard about the legends, have you ?”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Oh, _please_ , my partner pretty much told me everything about them. The thing is, they are what they are : simple legends.”

“Huh. Pretty rich coming from someone who didn't even know this town existed a few months ago,” Valerie scoffed, crossing her arms.

Touché. Still, Janus shook his head disapprovingly as he buried his hands into the pockets of his hoodie- Remus' hoodie, actually. Even during summer, he loved wearing it, mostly for its soft material, and-  
He blinked, all of sudden, trying not to lose track of the conversation. He really had to stop being so distracted all the time.

“But yeah, fishing isn't how we live here. Tourism, now _that_ works,” the woman said with a glimpse of mischief in her eyes. “Tell everyone your ancestors wrote about merfolks, and everyone rushes to your crappy little hometown in the hope to see one. That's even how some of them ended up living here.”

“Really ? I didn't think Nanotown would attract that many people.”

“Yet you're here.”

“Yet we're here,” he repeated with a chuckle. “Oh, by the way, what's with all... _that_ around here ? I've never seen such a mess before.”

Valerie sighed, barely looking at the fishes scattered all over the place, as if she was used to this gruesome sight.

“Yeah, no, I have no explanation for this, actually. It started happening a few days before you guys moved here. People started to find a lot of dead fishes on the shore recently, yet no one really knows why, since there are no fishers around here. That kinda dissuaded us to go swimming or diving... Like, who knows what's going on in there ?”

“Oh.” Janus took a look at the seemingly ordinary sea, then shook his head. That explained why he hadn't met anyone on the beach yet, even though it was a little crowded when he and Remus visited the place for the first time, months ago. Seeing a beach free from activity during the month of July was quite surprising, but not in Nanotown, it seemed.

“Well, if that's just a pack of sharks living nearby, I think we'll be fine,” he added. “There's no reason for them to attack us... unless we look threatening.”

Valerie shrugged. “It's up to you, buddy. Just be careful, this town hasn't been in the top ten of the dumbest drownings ever in a long time.”

“That's... oddly specific.”

“Nanotown is odd, too.”

As Janus chuckled, mumbling a “fair enough” under his breath, he checked something on his phone, then raised an eyebrow. “Oh, it's noon already ?”

“Yeah, I should probably leave you alone now. I'm sure you have tons of things you want to know, so feel free to come back in town ! I'm usually hanging out at the library.”

“Okay, will do. See ya around, Val.” Janus paused, then cleared his throat. “Is the nickname okay ?”

“No, but thanks for asking.”

After another chuckle, they both parted ways, Valerie on her way to the library, Janus supposed, as he headed back to his house himself. He assumed Remus would stay a little longer in town, and started to think about what to cook for lunch. He just prayed there were some leftovers in the fridge, as he could only be trusted with a fork and a microwave.  
  


* * *

_Seventeenth of July, 2020 (continuation)_

_This day has not been really useful for our work, but I learned a bit more about Nanotown. It is indeed as small as I expected, and everyone is surprisingly into all this merfolks “lore”, if I can put it that way. It is really peculiar, but nobody will ever change my mind about these creatures.  
I have met Valerie, one of Thomas' acquaintances, and she seems to know a lot about the place. It would be beneficial to talk to her a little more, but keeping an entire conversation with a stranger is actually exhausting. I will present her to Remus and hope that they get along (a message to my future self re-reading this : you have NO RIGHTS to judge me. You would have done the same thing, you're as hopeless and introverted as I am.)_

“Hey, check out all these books I borrowed !”

As soon as Janus looked up, he saw Remus entering the kitchen with a huge pile of books in xir arms that xe barely struggled to carry, and a wide grin plastered on xir face. Xe slammed them over the table and knocked Janus' stuff away, emitting a low “ _thunk_ ” sound.

“Well, thank you so much, I totally wasn't working,” Janus mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Look, look, the librarian allowed me to take a few more ! They, Thomas and I talked a lot, and they love mermaids too ! I think they're my friend now, but I'm not sure. I don't even remember their name, I just know they're tiny and have cool hair.”

“You ? Making friends after a day ? How surprising,” he gasped, a hand flat over his chest.

“Hah, you know me !”

“Mhm. Now let's see...” As he leaned over in his seat, Janus took a look at the covers of the books. “'The Secrets of Nanotown', 'To The Bottom of Our Seas', 'How To Catch Mermaids', 'Nanotown's Best Cooking Recipes'- Remus, do you want to study mermaids or eat them ?”

“Depends if I'm hungry or not when I see one.”

“ _If_ you see one.”

“I know I'll find one, and you can't stop me !”

Xe collapsed in the chair next to Janus with a sigh, taking a quick look at the journal he was writing in.

“Still taking notes, huh ? I'm not judging,” xe immediately added, holding xir hands up in defense, “but we've been around here for like, what ? A whole week-end ? And look at that, you have written several pages already ! That's kinda impressive, in my opinion.”

“Ah, thanks,” Janus chuckled, his face heating up. “I'm trying to keep track of everything work-related, even if it seems insignificant. Who knows, it could come in handy for the future.”

“You're so smart, pumpkin, I wouldn't be able to do half of it. But why don't you do this on your laptop ? It'd be easier for you to correct typos and shit.”

“I like writing in notebooks- I have too many of them anyway, I have to start using them.” At that, he narrowed his eyes. “Of course I _could_ use them all if _someone_ stopped buying me so many.”

Janus' heart missed a beat when Remus stayed silent and, instead, started avoiding his eyes. He reached out to xim and put his hand on xir knee, which xe almost swatted away.

“Hey, I'm sorry, it was just a joke-”

“Yeah, I know,” Remus chuckled, but it sounded empty to him.

“You look upset, though.”

“Wh- I'm not ! Why would I be upset over _this_ ?”

Janus shrugged ; he was trying to stay calm, really, but if he had no self-control, he would have fallen on his knees and begged Remus to talk already.

“I don't know, you tell me. Are you... scared of wasting money for me ?”

“No, no... I love buying you this stuff, like- you got that look in your eyes, as if I had just offered you the whole world. You look... so happy. I don't know, that's dumb and mushy,” xe finished in another nervous laugh.

“Remus, it's not dumb- that's actually really sweet, even if it's “mushy”, as you put it,” Janus said with a genuine smile. “You know I always cherish anything that you give me, from all the notebooks you buy to the cool rocks you find.”

“...I'm gonna start making lunch, you must be hungry,” xe eventually answered, leaving his seat.

Usually, Janus would have left the issue as it was, in the hope that Remus would warm up later. He would have abandoned the fight, clearly not armed nor strong enough to keep it going.

But not this time. There was a clear problem, and Remus was far too important for him to give up on xim like that. Remus was persistent, but so was he. So, he stood up as well, and, moving closer to his partner, he wrapped his arms around xir waist. Xe didn't immediately react, and from his point of view, Janus could barely see his face, but he could tell Remus was tense. He thought, for a second, that hugging xem without asking was an awful idea as xe had chased his hand away just a moment ago, but before he could leave, Remus put xir hands over his and laced their fingers together.

“What do you want ?”

“Lunch can wait,” Janus said in the softest, calmest tone of voice he could use. “Please sit down with me, darling.”

Janus noticed the sudden stiffness in Remus' posture, and even though xe was at least a good inch taller than him, xe looked so small and vulnerable at this instant. Xe opened xir mouth for a second, taking a sharp breath, before xe let out a long, exhausted sigh, as if xe had been dreading this moment all xir life.

“Just let it go,” xe eventually groaned back. “Why does it even matter to you ?”

“Are you _really_ asking me why I should care about my partner ?”

Remus, for a moment, seemed to think, barely moving, as the sound of his breathing was the only thing breaking this awful silence in the kitchen. Janus snuggled even closer against the other, one hand pressed against xir chest as he buried his face into the back of xir neck. He left a quick peck there, hoping Remus would calm down.

“Yes, because you shouldn't,” xe finally mumbled as a response.

“Remus, you- what on Earth are you talking about ? Even if I could help it, I would never stop caring about you. You're so important to me, I-”

“Stop it !” Remus' sudden shout made Janus jump a little, but he didn't loose his grip on xem. “You don't know that ! You know nothing about me, and you- you'll change your mind one day ! I know it !”

“Remus...?”

“I love you Jay... I don't want to lose you,” Remus sighed in a quavering voice.

“I... I love you too, Rem, but you're scaring me right now. Why are you saying this ? What's going on ?”

Without a word, Remus turned around and threw xirself into Janus arms, xir own around his shoulders as xe adorned his forehead with a kiss.  
Again, Janus could hardly see xir face from where he was standing, but he could feel xir lips trembling against his skin, as if xe was trying not to burst into tears. During the eight years they had known each other, Janus had never seen Remus crying over an argument- heck, xe barely started any to begin with !

But if xe refused to open up, Janus couldn't force xem.

“Everything's fine, I-” As if xe suddenly tried to hold back a sob, xe took a long breath. “I'm just being a little emotional when I'm tired, you know me.”

 _How long are you gonna keep making excuses ?_ Janus thought ; he was not buying any of this. _How long are you gonna keep lying to me ? Did I do or say something that hurt you ? Am I not worthy of your trust anymore ? Please, please talk to me, whatever is bothering you, I can handle it._

But as much as he wanted to scream them, the words couldn't reach his mouth, and he gave up.

“Alright love, I believe you. It's okay if you need to cry-”

“I don't !” Xe answered, a little too quickly to sound genuine. Xe got out of Janus' arms and offered him a too wide smile, xir eyes a bit too red and watery for someone who didn't need to let go. “I'm gonna make lunch for you, okay ? You can keep working. And, uh- I'll take care of that junk for you.”

“Junk ? What junk ?”

Janus arched an eyebrow, taking a look behind him. All he could see on the kitchen table was his own stuff and the books Remus had borrowed.

“You mean your-”

“Yeah- don't worry, I'll handle this !” And with that, xe gathered everything and started making xir way into their bedroom. “I'll put them somewhere where it won't bother you, yeah ?”

And, as usual, before Janus could question xem, xe disappeared into the corridor. He sat back on his chair as he let out a shaky sigh.  
  


* * *

Janus could barely close his eyes without getting memories of his discussion with Remus- or whatever _that_ was. Whenever he tried to pinpoint the moment where everything went downhill, he couldn't help but chase these thoughts away, as if he was trying to protect himself.  
Despite the darkness in the room, Janus could make out his lover's face, as peaceful as it could be from someone deep into slumber. With the tip of his finger, he traced the outline of xir face, smiling when xe let out a whine.

“I love you, Remus,” he whispered, mostly for himself. “I don't care how many times we'll fight, I'll never stop loving you. Don't you dare forget it.”

Obviously Remus didn't answer, but Janus couldn't care less. He couldn't fall asleep, and the beauty next to him was much more interesting anyway.  
Not that he didn't feel a little silly for doing this.

“I wish I could help you the way you need. I wish- I wish I could be better for you.” He paused, his hand cupping Remus' face. “I feel so powerless, love. You deserve so much better, you deserve to be happy, but- I don't know how to give you that. I'm trying, I promise I'm trying. And I won't stop trying over and over until I see that precious smile of yours.”

Still no reaction.  
At last, Janus found his way into Remus' arms, miraculously managing not to wake xem up. If he couldn't fall asleep, might as well take the comfiest spot in bed.  
  


* * *

_Twenty-ninth of July, 2020_

_Our first researches have been quite discouraging, to say the least. I did not really expect much from this town, yet it disappointed me. All we have found so far are very basic fishes, and not a single one of them made out alive to the shore anyway. No wonder why the citizens are not making a living out of the port anymore. The first samples we took didn't give us anything to work with either. This town looks very ordinary, I definitely do not understand the appeal for this place.  
While yes, this is true, we have only been here for a couple of weeks and need to explore more, I am hardly known for being patient. It is quite ironic, considering this is a quality required for my work. I must be a fraud, then._

Janus frowned and erased that last sentence. He had no idea where that came from.  
He glanced at the window to his right and squinted. From where he was sitting, he could only see a part of Nanotown, but the beach, for the most part, was out of sight. He felt a pinch of disappointment, for he had hoped to see Remus on the beach. The latter had decided to take a small break and take a walk to the shore.  
The window was so small and dirty anyway, Janus wasn't actually sure what he could make out. He shook his head and kept writing before he got lost in his own thoughts once again.

_Remus brought one of the dead fishes to the laboratory, and I decided to study it closely- out of boredom, mind you. The first thing I noticed before my partner even brought it here are the bite marks ; I thought about the doing of a shark when I talked with Valerie the other day, but it does not make any sense. Why would a shark leave half eaten fishes everywhere ? It looks like someone -or something, for that matter- simply nibbled on it and threw it somewhere because it didn't taste good enough. Besides, the marks are way too small compared to the jaws of a regular shark. Either someone in town has a very peculiar diet, or there is a creature down there waiting to be discovered. Now that would be more interesting._

_I could convince Remus to go diving for me- at a reasonable depth, of course. Maybe xe will see something worthy of our time._

“Janus !”

The man blinked, taken aback by Remus' almost panicked tone. He barely got time to close his notebook and stand up from his desk chair before the other burst into the laboratory, a hand flat against the door and another clutching at xir shirt. Xir sweaty face had entirely turned to a deeper shade of brown, too, and Janus understood that xe must have raced from the beach to the house.

“What ? Did something happen ?” He asked, as calmly as he could manage.

“You bet your ass something happened !” Panting loudly, xe took a few steps into the room and grabbed Janus by the shoulders, almost shaking him with all the vigor xe was capable of.

“Okay... Maybe you should sit here for a moment-”

“Don't have time ! I need you to come with me to the beach !”

As soon as Remus took his hand and started to drag him outside, Janus withdrew it with a frown on his face. “Hey, I'm not going anywhere before I get all the information. What is going on with you ? What did you see !?”

Remus seemed almost reluctant to share xir latest discovery, and that only worried Janus more. He wondered, for a moment, if that had something to do with xir recent behavior, only to push that thought aside. Xe seemed panicked, disoriented, as if xe had witnessed a murder and was losing xir absolute mind over it.

“I can't tell you right now, I know you won't believe me- but I this is very important, I promise ! I need your help !”

“Remus, I can't offer you my help if I don't know what's going on, and you know it. Just tell me so I can be prepared !”

Remus started chewing on xir bottom lip, seemingly weighing up the pros and cons. Janus could almost see the gear rotating in xir head.

Eventually, xe spoke words that Janus would have never expected to hear today.

“There's a wounded mermaid on the beach.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you look at that, you guys only had to wait for *look at their calendar* a month !! Isn't it great ??
> 
> here's something I forgot to say, but constructive criticism is more than welcome. I don't care that much for my other works, but I really want to improve on that one as it's a bigger project. I know some of my flaws, and some things I could have developed in the previous chapters, but it always helps to hear other opinions, so as long as you stay respectful, I'd be really happy to hear you !! (just keep in mind that English is not my first language, and while I'm pretty fluent, my vocabulary (among other things) is still limited)
> 
> anyway, I'm done with my rant (. .) if you enjoy this chapter, consider leaving a kudos and a comment !!

Eyes widening and mouth slightly opening, and as if the world had stopped for a second, it took Janus a moment to process Remus' words, before the absurdity of the situation kicked in. He would have laughed out of nervousness and confusion if it wasn't for the imploring look the other was giving him.

“You must be kidding me,” he eventually said, shaking his head to try and get his thoughts together.

“Ugh, I knew you wouldn't believe me... but I promise it's real, I-”

“Remus,” Janus interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose, “how could you possibly expect me to believe that there's an actual mermaid in need of our help ?”

“I don't, but- you know what, I don't care ! Just come with me !”

And before he could protest, Janus got lifted up from the ground, shoved in Remus' arms as xe rushed out of the house, on the direction of the beach. The sun was progressively setting down, lying on the water, and some stars were already dotting the darkening sky. This could've been a gorgeous sight if Janus wasn't carried bridal-style by Remus, on xir way to help an imaginary creature.  
He knew xe wasn't a liar- xe could even be _too_ honest at times, but a mermaid ? That was hard to believe, to say the least. For him, someone was playing a prank on the poor marine biologist, and it worked a little too well.

He needed to find whoever was playing with his partner's feelings. He just wanted to talk, really.

Despite Janus' best efforts to reason with Remus, they reached the shore. Remus let go off xir boyfriend and started looking around, squinting their eyes as xe specifically focused on the rocks surrounding the place. The beach, for the most part, were covered in rocks twice Janus' size, and were almost as thick as an oak, and as sharp as razors. Besides, they were all squeezed in together, you barely had space to sneak in between. The mere thought of getting stuck in there made Janus' heart race with fear.

“I'm warning you, we're not staying here for the whole evening. If your... mermaid refuses to show up, I'm going home.” The word mermaid still felt weird on his tongue.

“Well, I'm gonna show you, and you'll feel sorry that you didn't believe me !” Xe turned around and took a deep breath before yelling the following words. “Hey, fishy ! You still there ? I brought my boyfriend, I hope you don't mind !”

Rolling his eyes, Janus sat on a rock nearby and crossed his arms as he watched his partner yelling for the creature to show up. He was honestly glad that no one was there to witness this show of ridiculousness- not that he didn't check behind him from time to time.

It went on, and on, and Janus couldn't believe he had been dragged into this. For at least ten minutes, Remus looked everywhere xe could, calling for the mermaid xe thought xe had seen. But, despite the energy and effort xe put into this, the hybrid was nowhere to be seen.

“Remus... This is getting embarrassing. Please just admit that you were wrong,” Janus said to break the tension.

Remus immediately turned around, xir hands on xir hips. “Excuse you ! I know what I saw, and what I saw was a mermaid, and they needed medical treatment ! I couldn't possibly invent _this_ !”  
  
“I'm not saying that, I'm just supposing that you probably saw something else that you mistook for a mermaid... You know those don't exist. Maybe it was a shark, or-”  
  
“No ! I _know_ they're real, and I'm gonna prove it to you today !”

And, before he could retort something, Remus was back on xir frenetic search, seemingly a bit more confused and desperate. If Janus didn't know xem, he thought xe was about to fall on xir knees and pray any God to lead xem to the creature.  
Five more minutes passed, but the beach offered the same result as before : silence and emptiness. As soon as Remus walked back to Janus, he opened his mouth to talk xem out of this nonsense, but xe was quicker to speak.

“I- I don't understand, they- they were right here ! I promise, I- they were _there_ , and bleeding, and crying for help, and- I told them I was going to get someone, but-”

Janus, as soon as he noticed tears pricking at the corners of xir eyes, rushed to xem and gently took xir hands in his. If he was annoyed by this unsuccessful, pointless exploration, there was no way in hell he was going to let his partner wallow in xir own misery like that.

“Hey, love, it's okay-”

“No it's not ! You- I bothered you for nothing ! I'm so stupid, I thought-”

“Shht, calm down. I need you to take deep breaths, can you do that for me ?” He guided one of Remus' hand over his own chest. “There, follow my pattern. In and out, slowly.”

Remus nodded and started inhaling, then exhaling, as Janus told xem. Xir hand clenched on the front of his shirt, before slowly releasing its grip.  
Janus was as attentive as possible, looking for any sign of discomfort, any sign that might have indicated that the breathing exercise wasn't working. But instead, Remus closed xir eyes as xe kept going.

“That's very good. You're doing such a great job.” Remus smiled at the praise. “There, there. You don't have to panic, because everything's fine, Rem. I'm not angry.”

“You promise ?”

Letting go of the hand on his chest, Janus cupped Remus' face. “I promise I'm not mad at you. There, keep breathing. That's good, you're doing so great.”

With a contented sigh, Remus leaned against the hand on his face, almost rubbing his cheek against Janus' palm. Janus chuckled at this sight but didn't say anything else, giving the other time to fully calm down.

“Are you alright, now ?” Another nod was the only answer he got. “Come on, let's go home.”

And with that, Remus followed Janus to their shared place. Xe didn't let go of his hand for the whole time, and Janus could even feel xem squeeze it from time to time.  
  


* * *

  
As soon as they were back from the beach, Janus sat on the couch in the living room and let Remus take place next to him. Xe lied down on the cushions, xir head in Janus' lap ; he knew it was xir favorite position whenever they cuddled together, and xe especially loved doing this when xe needed support or attention. Janus was happy to provide ; besides, the weight on him felt comforting, like a warm blanket on a rainy day.

“Here, are you feeling better ?”

“I... I think so. Fuck- I don't know, actually,” xe admitted with an empty chuckle.”Everything feels so weird right now.”

“That's okay, I understand. I think I'd be shaken too if I saw a mermaid.”

“Ah, so you admit I'm right ?”

Janus snorted, running a hand through Remus' hair. “Not quite, dearest. I'm simply trying to empathize with you.”

“But- But they were there Janus, I saw them-”

“I know darling, I know. There, try to relax.” He couldn't help but smile fondly at the sight of his partner, now a little calmer. “Did they say anything to you ?”

“No- I mean, I tried talking to them, but I don't think they could answer, for some reason. They were crying and making some sort of... chirping sounds ? I don't know, but _gosh_ , I wish you could have seen them. I know you don't believe me, but I bet you ten bucks that this was an actual mermaid.”

“If you say so.”

“Oh, and- they were bleeding, and... I couldn't really see what was hurting them, because y'know, I was panicking, since I didn't know how to help them out... but I think they were caught in a fishing nest, and that it was strangling them. I'm not even sure anymore.”

Janus tilted his head but didn't make any comment about that. Valerie had clearly stated that Nanotown wasn't making any profit out of fishing anymore, so it was quite strange to find a mermaid wrestling their way out of a fishing nest.

...Well, it was strange finding a mermaid to begin with, so could he be _really_ surprised ?

“Anyway, they were like, all light blue and super big- like, I'm sure they were twice my size, and they had a dorsal fin, I think ?” Remus giggled. “Oh- and they had really long hair, too. Just like me when I was in high school... before I cut them, y'know ?”

“I know, Remus.”

“Why did I even do this ? I looked adorable with long hair. I'm so fucking stupid.”

“You still look adorable, and you're incredibly smart. You just wanted to change, and that's perfectly fine.” Janus smiled, playing with one of Remus' locks as he quickly changed the subject. “Would you like to let it grow again ?”

“I think so- at shoulder-length, at least.”

“Sounds like a marvelous idea, beloved.” As softly as he could manage, Janus left a kiss on xir forehead. “You should try and get some sleep, now. It's starting to get late.”

“I don't think I can, to be honest. I mean- I'm tired, but I can't... really sleep, right now.”

“Mh, understandable. Would you like to watch a movie, then ? It may help you calm down.” When Remus' eyes lightened up, and a happy grin suddenly appeared on xir face, Janus couldn't help but laugh. “Oh, you look like I told you we won at the lottery.”

“Ah, sorry- I just like chilling with you. You always make funny comments about what we're watching, and I love when you're holding me in your arms, because you know that I'm gonna fall asleep before the end, so you want me to be comfy, and...” Remus stopped dead in xir tracks, chewing on xir bottom lip.

“Why did you stop talking, lovebug ? I was listening.”

“I know, it's- I just... I talk a lot, don't I ? It must be annoying, I- I'll shut up now.”

And, as xe started sitting up, Janus froze. He thought about comforting xem, or reassuring xem in any way, to let xem know that ranting was more than welcome, but he knew that Remus would dig xir heels in and become unusually cold, as it had happened so many times before.  
So, instead, and before xe could leave the couch, he wrapped his arms around xir waist, and put his chin on xir shoulder.

“What movie do you want to watch, gorgeous ?”

“Uh- I don't know,” xe mumbled, seemingly taken aback. “Something light-hearted, maybe ? Like- I don't want to think about anything right now.”

“Noted. I'll take a look at Netflix and see what's on there.” Janus leaned over so he could kiss the side of Remus' neck. “I love you so much.”

Janus hated when Remus was acting so self-depreciating, and a flood of praises and compliments were at the tip of his tongue, but he stopped himself before they left his mouth. If that could avoid putting the other in a bad mood, even if he didn't understand why, he was doing it no questions asked.

“I love you too,” Remus eventually said back with an exhausted smile. “Let's go to the bedroom, now.”  
  


* * *

_  
Second of August, 2020_

_Remus has been acting strange, the other day. All of a sudden, after xe came back from a walk on the beach, xe were convinced xe had seen a wounded mermaid. Xe dragged me there to look for them, but they had disappeared- so xe thought. I have no idea what has gotten into xem, and we did not talk about it since. I think xe is ashamed of what happened, and I do not want to create any more issues or upset xem by saying the wrong thing. I will wait for the good moment to bring that up again._

_I have no idea if it will come in handy, but xe gave me a description of this thing, which I will picture below. I am convinced some details are missing, some things that Remus did not see as xe was in a hurry, but I will add them as xe remembers them._

Janus proceeded to doodle the mermaid under what he had just written- he wasn't much of an artist, as that was Remus' department, but thought he still made a decent drawing. At least the most vital pieces of information were there, and what you could expect from usual depictions of mermaids could be recognized.

As Janus closed his notebook once he was done, he checked for any sign that Remus was awake. But, as he expected, his lover had quickly fallen into the arms of Morpheus, xir snoring barely audible as half of xir face was buried into a pillow, and the blanket was covering xem to xir shoulders. His notebook now put aside, he couldn't help but brush a strand of hair away from xir eyes and tuck it behind xir ear. Xe let out a small groan in xir sleep, scrunching xir nose a little, but fortunately didn't wake up.  
After what had happened, Janus could barely get to sleep, but got an idea much more interesting than that anyway.

Slipping into Remus' hoodie that had been discarded on the floor, he got up from the bed ; once he had his prosthetic back where it belonged, Janus got into a pair of jeans and shoes. On tip-toes, he left the bedroom, checking on Remus one last time as he carefully closed the door behind him.

Something was terribly off to him, he had some sort of bad feeling- no, more like he was missing something crucial, something that was right in front of his face, and yet he couldn't grasp what it was exactly. What Remus had said wasn't a lie, he just felt it ; xe was an awful liar anyway, the worst Janus had ever met, in fact. Even for a very elaborated prank, xe would have told him the truth within a minute, intentionally or not.  
Besides, xe seemed so genuine, so desperate to help the creature xe had met that it couldn't have possibly been an act of irrationality. No one teared up over something they had made up.

As he turned on the flashlight on his phone, he started looking around the place, paying close attention to the things around him. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so far- if the rotting fishes now half-buried in the sand were anything to go by. Wasn't anyone supposed to clean this beach once in a while ?  
He wasn't going to stop his search so soon, though ; he started walking along the shore, looking to his left, then right, ignoring the fact his eyes were sore and slowly closing by themselves. He rubbed them with his free hand and repressed a yawn. He wanted to believe Remus, he really did, but he needed a proof, a clue, anything to support xir claims.

After what felt hours of pacing around the beach, Janus still didn't find anything interesting. Not even a person taking a nightly walk around the place, or a seagull nipping on what was left of the fishes. This town was awfully quiet and empty for a summer night ; were tourists actually attracted to this place as Valerie had stated ? Because Janus had barely seen any in weeks, all he had seen so far were the same faces of the inhabitants.

What he _heard_ , however, were tiny cries and whimpers- barely audible over the sound of the crashing waves, yet noticeable enough for someone to check out by curiosity. He couldn't quite find the area where they were coming from, but needless to say these weren't the type of things you wanted to hear in the middle of the night, especially when the cries sounded so human.

But not only Janus was stubborn as hell, he was also curious when it came to unsolved mysteries, and he _was_ going to see what was going on. Carefully, and keeping his ears open to detect where the source of the cries was, his steps led him to the rocks along the shore. He shivered at that ; the voice was getting progressively louder, and more desperate, and his heart started racing with the thoughts that something, or someone was stuck between two rocks, or drowning. He had been taught what to do in that type of situations, but to put theory into practice was another thing.

Besides, he was realizing that going alone outside, in a town he had lived in for barely two weeks and didn't know much about, wasn't the brightest idea he has had today.

To access the source of the mystery, he had to climb on an awfully big rock, although flatter and much more easier to stand on despite his wobbly legs ; so climb he did, almost slipping a few times. He noticed he was much higher above the water than he expected, but again, that didn't stop him.  
Yet, before he could lean to see what was down there, at the edge of the cliff, the phone in his hand buzzed and lightened up. On the screen, he saw a call from Remus, and he arched an eyebrow. He had no idea why xe would call him so late at night, especially when xe was sleeping like a log when he left.

As soon as he picked up and brought the phone to his ear, he heard his lover's panicked voice and heavy breathing on the other side.

“Rem ? What's going on ?”

“Wh- _I_ should be the one asking this ! Where the hell are you !? I can't find you anywhere !”

“Remus, it's okay, I-” Janus paused to think of a believable lie to tell the other. “I- I couldn't sleep, so I just took a walk outside. Everything's fine, I promise !”

“Why didn't you leave a note or a text, then !? You- You can't just leave the house like this without telling me ! I woke up, and- and you were just... gone !”

“I know, I know, I'm sorry- look, I'm on my way back, okay ? I'll be there before you know it.”

And, as he hung up, Janus sprinted back to their home- at least as fast as his legs allowed him to go. His prosthetic wasn't really made for running, but he didn't care.  
Fortunately, their house wasn't really far from the beach, and Janus was back after a couple of minutes. He rushed to the bedroom and found Remus there, on the bed, crying xir eyes out and hugging xirself. Xe had looked up when he had burst into the room and let out a sigh of relief mixed with a cry.

“It's okay, I'm back.” Janus sat on the side of the bed and immediately got a sobbing Remus shoved into his arms.

“Wh-What were you thinking ? I just- I got so scared, I-”

“Hey, I'm sorry Remus, but everything's fine now.”

“Never do that again,” xe cried, xir face buried into Janus' neck.

“I'm so sorry, lovebug. I didn't mean to worry you, I-” he got interrupted by Remus' sob. “Hey, it's okay, really. I'm here now, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Janus felt xir hand clasping the back of his hoodie, and xir arms being wrapped tighter around him, keeping him into such a strong embrace he knew he wouldn't be able to leave anytime soon.

“What are you getting so emotional over ? You know I wouldn't leave you like this, right ?” Only silence answered him. “Remus- you know that, _right_ ?”

“You promise you won't leave ?” Xe asked with a small voice.

Janus felt his heart shattering at the question. Of course, he knew Remus had xir own insecurities to deal with- growing up in a crappy household didn't help, but xe rarely crumbled over something so insignificant. But why, all of a sudden ? Perhaps it was because of that mermaid xe thought xe had seen the other day ? Or maybe the arguments they've had for the past few weeks ? Janus had no idea, and he knew that bombarding his partner with all these questions would only worsen xir current state. The only thing xe needed right now was love and support.

As he broke the embrace, Janus gently cupped Remus' face, wiping away the tears streaming down xir face with his thumbs.

“Trust me when I tell you that I would never, _ever_ do such a thing. You mean the world to me, Remus, and I won't let you convince yourself otherwise.” As he let out a sigh, he brushed a strand of hair from Remus' face. “I mean, now that you've chosen me, you won't get rid of me that easily. Gotta face the consequences.”

To his relief, Remus snorted. “You sound like a demon.”

“Mhm, and I'm not letting go of my adorable little human.”

By some sort of mutual agreement, Remus sank back into Janus' arms and buried xir face into his neck. Janus, as he soothingly rubbed his partner's back, gave xem time to fully calm down ; xe was shaking like a leaf, and he could feel a wet patch on his shoulder due to the last tears Remus still had to cry.

Janus didn't mind, though- he could have stayed awake all night just to comfort xem, for that matter, but he couldn't stand seeing xem in such a terrible state. The only times xe broke down in front of him like this was when he had a big fight with xir parents, or even Roman. And to think he was now the source of xir pain...

He couldn't hate himself more.

“There, try and go back to sleep,” he eventually whispered to Remus' ear. “I promise I'm not leaving. Let me just take off my clothes and I'll be back, okay ?”

With a small nod, Remus detached xirself from Janus and let him undress. Despite being in the dark, he could feel Remus' eyes all over him, probably making sure he was keeping his promise. In no time, Janus was back under the covers, and had a quite clingy Remus in his arms. He sighed and started patting xir hair.

“There you go. I'm here, and I love you.”

“I love you too,” Remus whispered back, tucking xir head under Janus' chin. “I'm sorry, I- I didn't-”

“Shht. Go back to sleep,” he repeated as he left a kiss on the top of xir head. “We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay ?”

As xe nodded, Remus shifted into a more comfortable position, xir arms around Janus' waist and a leg thrown over his. He had expected xem being a little clingier after this, so he just held xem closer, an arm around xir shoulders as his free hand played with xir hair.  
It didn't take long for Remus to fall back asleep, xir face hidden against his collarbone and snoring as xe usually did. Janus, however, could hardly find sleep again, but he wasn't abandoning Remus this time. Besides, the warmth of the bed and his partner's embrace were far too enjoyable for him to leave again.

Tomorrow wouldn't be the same ; he needed to go back there and see what was going on. Something was off, he could feel it.  
  


* * *

  
Janus slowly opened his eyes at the sunlight piercing through the curtains dazzled him for a second. He hissed quietly, rubbing his eyes as he forced himself to keep them open. He barely had any memories of falling asleep last night, but he supposed this was for the best. At least he got a few hours of sleep.  
The noises Remus made suddenly caught his attention ; xe was probably trying to gather xir thoughts as xe, too, woke up from xir deep slumber. A few strands of hair were poking out, and Janus couldn't help but start playing with it.

“Good morning, love,” he hummed as softly as possible.

He was greeted back by a groan coming from under the covers. He chuckled, gently pulling the blanket out of Remus until he could see xir face.

“Too much light,” xe whined as xe tried burying xir head back under the comfort and safety of the covers.

“What are you, a vampire ?”

“Might as well be one.”

Probably knowing Janus wouldn't let xem go back where xe were, Remus snuggled closer to him and, instead, hid xir face into his chest.

“You're always so difficult to deal with in the morning,” he sighed in fake exasperation.

“You chose me, you stick with me and my “morning difficulties”.”

Janus let out a chuckle, his finger burying themselves back into Remus' hair.

“Ah, that's true, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else,” he added eventually.

“Don't start,” Remus snorted.

“Start what ? I was just about to say how gorgeous,” Janus paused to kiss the top of xir head, “how, smart,” another kiss on xir forehead, “how precious and important you are.”

“You're not objective, though.”

“I don't care about anyone else's opinion on that matter. If people can't see you the way I do, that's their loss.”

“Ugh, I swear you're the _worst_ when you're like this so early in the morning, _”_ Remus grumbled, the smile on xir face so easily discernible in xir tone.

“Yet you love me.”

“Don't be so cocky about it. Now get up, we have things to do today.”

Remus finally left the bed, stretching and yawning, while Janus rolled to the other side of the bed. He gladly let one of his pillows engulf his face.

“But do we _have_ to ?” He groaned in a muffled voice.

“You said it yourself, we're kinda here to work, y'know. Now I'm starting to think _you're_ the difficult one to deal with in the morning.”

At that, Janus looked up from his fluffy shield and squinted. “That title will never go to me. You know I can be even worse at nighttime when I refuse to leave the lab.”

“Ain't that the truth,” xe sighed.

Eventually, Janus complied and painfully left his comfy spot in the bed, then stretched and rubbed his eyes again, his sight still a little blurry. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he started staring at his partner, who was looking through a drawer to find clothes to put on.

For the whole night, Janus had been wondering if he should share what he had witnessed during his quick expedition. It wasn't much, he knew it, and it could have been lots of things ; a dying animal, some weird kids having fun in the middle of the night, someone listening to music ; anything you could think of. But his guts were telling him that something bigger was hiding under these noises, and even though he worried about getting his lover excited over something mundane, as his coworker, he had to share any discovery he made, no matter how ridiculous it sounded.

“I've heard something strange when I was outside last night,” he admitted at last, biting his bottom lip.

“Strange ? How so ?”

As he got up and not so discreetly stole a clean hoodie from Remus, he shrugged. “I'm not sure, I didn't see anything. I was just walking, and suddenly I heard... crying, and moaning.”

“Wow, sounds like you almost interrupted something interesting,” Janus teased as xe wiggled xir eyebrows.

“Oh God, stop it !”

The two of them laughed as Remus got ready for the day. Janus, however, sat back on the bed to put his prosthetic on.

“But seriously, it had nothing to do with _that_ ,” Janus continued as he fumbled with the artificial leg, “I think that whatever was making these noises was in pain. Like... that kind of scared me at the moment. Imagine hearing that in the middle of the night as you're minding your own business, wouldn't that be terrifying ?”

Remus, once xe had slipped in one of Janus' shirts, sat next to him.

“I can't tell, I wasn't there, y'know. Would you like to check it out again ? I mean, now that you have me by your side, I don't think you have to fear for your life.”

“You're such a dork,” Janus snorted. “But I'd really like that... if you don't mind that is.”

“Of course I don't, you know I'm always up for a bit of exploration ! Let's get started with this !”

But before Remus could stand up from the bed, Janus grabbed xir hand and pulled xem back- maybe a little closer to him, not that he would have admitted it.

“I'm not finished, actually. I...” Janus stopped, taking a deep breath.

“Pumpkin ? What's wrong ?”

“I just... I wanted to apologize for last night. I should have told you I was outside for a while, and I-” he paused again, barely looking at Remus by now. “I didn't want to make you cry, I'm so sorry.”

“Hey, no, it's fine, really,” Remus shrugged. “I shouldn't have overreacted like that anyway.”

“You were _not_ overreacting, Rem. I knew how you feel when I'm not around, but I left without a trace anyway. Please accept my apologies, I promise it won't happen again.”

Remus only stared at him for a moment, an indescribable look in xir eyes until xe let out a small chuckle, that sounded almost sad.

“I was never mad at you... but if that makes you feel better, then I forgive you.”

Janus, beaming, finally looked up to meet Remus' eyes. “Thank you, darling.”

With a fond smile, Remus leaned over to place a kiss on his forehead. “Come on, we should get going now.”  
  


* * *

  
Minutes after, they had left the house in the direction of the beach ; Janus was followed by Remus, and was looking everywhere around him. They approached the shore, where he had “taken a walk” last night.

“I think it was somewhere around here... I was just walking when I heard the noises, but I'm not sure where it was.”

“Okay... Take your time.”

Janus nodded and started recounting the route, focusing on anything that could have caught his eye. He knew this wasn't far from where he was standing, but there wasn't anything that stood out from the landscape ; he supposed he was too focused on what he had heard at that moment.

“Mh... Could you describe the noises a little more ?” Remus asked, rubbing xir neck. “Maybe you missed something important.”

“I don't know... I... Uh...” Janus scratched the back of his head when his eyes suddenly lightened up. “Oh- I don't know if that's relevant, but sometimes, the noises were muffled because of the waves. They sounded a little distant, too, but I know I was close.”

Looking all around him, Janus kept walking, approaching the rocks.

“I think... I think I was standing on one of them. Yeah, one of them was flat, and you can walk over it easily.” He let out a long sigh. “I'm sorry I can't remember much- all of this was creeping me out, and since it was all dark outside...”

“That's fine baby, we'll just start with this. Were you heading town ?”

“Yeah, I- I just wanted a familiar place to chill,” he lied.

“Great ! Then we just have to walk along the shore, and you'll probably remember where you stopped last night.” Remus placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “And don't worry, even if you _don't_ remember, that's fine too. No pressure, alright ?”

“...Okay, I'll try my best.”

They started searching again, paying close attention to everything around them. Anyone seeing them from afar would have assumed they were a couple taking a walk on such a lovely day, but Janus felt more nervous than anything. He didn't want to waste time they could spend working on something he _thought_ he had heard, but at the same time, not knowing the origin of this was driving him insane, and he knew he wouldn't have been able to sleep until he solved this issue.  
In a mortifying silence, they kept on walking until Janus got a feeling of deja vu- and it wasn't just because he had been living here for weeks, no, it was something else. A sense of “something happened here”, as his heart started beating a little faster.

“Hold on,” Janus said as he stopped by the rocks.

“Is everything okay ?”

“Mhm, it's just...” He looked around, taking a few steps forward. “I think this is it.”

Suddenly, something caught his attention ; a rock, a little slopping, but big and flat enough that you could stand over it- which he didn't waste time to do. He climbed on the rock, and realized this was where he was standing last night. But more importantly, the same noises were still there. Those pitiful cries for help, and it sounded like it came from beneath him. A relieved smile spread across his face.

"Do you hear this ? It was there, I remember now !” He gasped, running to the edge of the cliff. It was a little slippery, and maybe if Remus hasn't been there to catch him before he slipped, he would have landed head first into the water. Not that it mattered to him.

With Remus' hand still clutched tightly on Janus' hoodie, they both leaned over to take a look at the source of the noises. Their eyes met with a rather tall person, fighting their way out of the rocks they were trapped between. Janus narrowed his eyes ; he only could see the top of their head and their hands, but something looked... off with this stranger. Maybe it was the awkward position they were stuck in.

“Hey ! You okay ?” Remus yelled, trying to be heard over the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks.

The person snapped their head towards the source of the voice with wide eyes and knitted eyebrows. They ceased all movements, breathing so hard Janus could see their chest rising and falling quickly.  
But then, it hit him ; their face were anything but natural ; their eyes a big too big, and their nose a bit too flat. They had fins on their forearms, but most importantly, their skin was a pale blue.

In short, they were not human.

“It's you !” Remus suddenly gasped, clasping xir free hand over xir mouth. “ Holy shit, this- they're the mermaid I told you about ! It's them !”

Janus shook his head ; he couldn't possibly believe that, but the truth was right in front of him- or below him, rather. The fishing nest Remus had talked about had stuck itself into the rocks, and the flow had led the creature between them, trapped, wounded, and unable to get out on their own.  
As Remus had described them the other day, they were a large, blue hybrid, with dark damp hair falling all over their face ; still, he could see the pain in their pleading eyes. Their webbed hands were clawing at the rocks trapping them, trying to get out of their merciless grip. They had left scratching marks over the surface, as if they had been doing this for days.

With a nervous whimper, Remus turned to xir boyfriend.

“Jay, what do we do !?”

“I...” Janus, once again, shook his head, running his hands through his hair as he stared at the mermaid desperately trying to get free. “I don't know...”

School had never prepared him for this shit.

“Okay, I- uh... I-I'm gonna try something, hold on !” As xe started taking of xir shirt, Janus stopped xem.

“Can't you behave for a minute !? This is a serious matter !”

“What do you think I'm doing !? I'm gonna help them, just trust me !”

Xe threw xir shirt and shoes to the side, then jumped into the water. The mermaid's eyes widened for a moment, struggling hard to, Janus supposed, get away from Remus, but seemed to calm down when his partner showed them xe had no bad intentions. Xe took a deep breath and put a hand on their shoulder.

“Everything's fine buddy, I'll get you out of there.”

Remus tried wrapping xir arms where the mermaid wasn't hurt, around their waist as xe pressed xir hands flat against their chest to pull them out of their prison. Xir attempt was well-meaning, but Janus had low hopes about this ; the beast was stuck in such an disturbing position, their shoulders squeezed hard between two rocks. Any human would have felt at least a little claustrophobic in there, but someone as big as them ? It was a miracle they hadn't more severe wounds.

But as Remus was pulling and pulling, and as the mermaid's cries grew louder, Janus knew this wasn't the solution. He knelt at the edge at the cliff to be sure he was heard.

“Remus, this isn't working ! Try pulling the nest away first !” he shouted.

“Okay, yeah ! Uh...”

Awkwardly moving xir hands away, xe started looking for the spot where the fishing nest had hooked itself up. It was a tangled mess of sharp ropes and dirt, pressing against the beast's throat with any of their movement and wrapped around one of their arms.

“I think- I think it's over here, hold on !” Remus finally yelled back as he felt around the rock.

Xir hands, seemingly shaking, were running all over the surface, and as much as Janus wanted to help, he couldn't quite see where it was, so trying to give indications to his lover was pretty much pointless.  
But eventually, Remus' fingers fell on the right spot, and in one motion, the nest was out of the rock's grip.

“I got it !” Xe said victoriously.

The mermaid could now move freely, and was able to get out from their prison. Still a little weak from the recent events, they flinched, but Remus caught them before they could collapse in the water, struggling to hold such a bigger body.

“It's alright, we've got you. You're safe now.”

With now all dangers avoided, Janus allowed himself to sit down at the edge of the cliff, sighing both with relief and the sudden knowledge of a creature such as a mermaid existing.

He supposed he owed Remus ten bucks, now.  
  


* * *

  
Janus couldn't help but stare. Remus had run as fast as xir legs could carry xem to the house to get something, anything to treat the mermaid's wounds ; xe insisted that xe could do it xirself, but he knew this was just an excuse to be as close to the creature as possible. The latter looked pretty docile as well, staying still as Remus took care of them, yet their eyes not leaving them for a second, just in case xe did anything suspicious.  
Now that things were under control, Janus could see more details about them ; they had so many scars, over their face, arms, chest, belly ; some of them looked like they had healed well over the course of years, but the others had barely gotten any care. They also had black marks all over their face- not quite like Janus' vitiligo, as it was much more symmetrical, but they were basically at the same place, on the cheekbones and around the eyes. And his ears- how could he possibly describe them ? They were pointy and so thin you could see the light piercing through the skin.

Well, those were more things to add to his drawing, at least.

“Okay, the bandages won't stay long if you're in the water, so you should go in there as little as possible,” Remus explained as he tightened to last bandage around the mermaid's chest. “Are you feeling better, now ?”

The creature, still silent and wide-eyed, simply nodded to answer Remus' question. But whenever one of the marine biologists would try and get closer for any other reason than to tend for their wounds, they withdrew immediately with a frown on their face. If Remus looked fascinated and had obviously millions of questions to ask the other, Janus was still processing the news.  
He had a literal mermaid in front of him. A living one- a _real_ one, with the tail, fins and all. They were moving, and expressing emotions.

Mermaids were a thing, at least this one, and he had no idea what to do with this information.

“It's okay, we're not going to harm you !”

Wrapping their arms around themself, they frowned again as they tilted their head to the side. Their claws were almost digging into their own arms out of nervousness, probably ready to attack if one of them crossed their unspoken boundaries.

“I mean, that would be dumb to save you and _then_ harm you, wouldn't it ?”

“That's one way to put it,” Janus mumbled.

“Work with me there pumpkin, they need to be reassured !” Remus suddenly raised xir eyebrows, as if xe had remembered something important. “Oh- by the way, my name's Remus, and the gorgeous man you see there is Janus. What's yours ? Do you even have a name ?”

As his cheeks heated up at the compliment, Janus noticed the creature was searching around uncomfortably, perhaps looking for something, someone to save them from this situation, or for anything to drive the two humans away.

“I don't think they want us there,” he eventually whispered to xir ear.

“I mean, that's understandable, since we barely know each other. You were like this with Thomas, too.”

“Don't call me out like that.”

The mermaid let out a low, almost shy chirping sound- as Remus had described it. Janus smiled as it sounded like a noise a cat would make when you offered it scratches under its chin. It was almost cute.  
Eventually, they leaned over and started writing something in the sand. The two lovers leaned a little so they could see better and waited for the mermaid to be done. When they stopped and withdrew, Janus squinted, barely able to read what was written. He could decipher an “L”, but that was about it.

“Uh... I can't read this, sorry.”

“I think I can.” Remus hummed, tapping xir chin with xir index. “It's... It's Logan, isn't it ?”

Seemingly satisfied, the creature- _Logan_ grinned and nodded.

“You really can't talk, huh ?” Xe added. “That's okay, we can work with that. Right, Jay ?”

“I... I guess.” He rubbed his face and sighed. “I'm sorry, I- it's just a lot to take in for me.”

“Hah ! Told you I was right ! I love to prove you wrong.” Remus rolled xir eyes. “He thought you didn't exist, can you believe it ?”

Logan turned to Janus, their eyebrows arched as they simply shrugged.

“Yeah, never mind, you must be used to that.”

“Maybe-” Janus cleared his throat. “Maybe we should leave you alone for a while, so you can rest and take care of your wounds. We'll come back tomorrow to change your bandages, okay ? Please don't take them off at any time, salt water will be awfully painful.”

“Aww, can't we stay just a little longer ?”

“No, we have to let them rest. Come on,” Janus added, rising to his feet as he dragged his partner along. He grabbed the fishing nest with his other hand. “I'll take that with me.”

“Okay, okay, gee. See you tomorrow Logan, and be careful !”

Logan nodded, but they seemed a little confused ; whether it was at Janus' behavior or Remus' eccentric personality, the marine biologist had no idea. Well, Janus supposed that, if he was in their place, he would be confused too if two strangers saved him from a painful death and then stared at him as if he was a circus freak.  
  


* * *

  
“I told you ! I told you this was a mermaid !”

“I know, you already told me,” Janus said with an amused smile, despite the fact that _holy shit xe was_ actually _right._

“Sorry, I'm just so excited. But do you know what that means for our work ?”

Remus kept blabbering, heading to the kitchen as Janus left all their stuff in the living room before joining xem.

“It means so many things ! It means endless possibilities of other types of mermaids, it means so many open doors for our researches ! This is so exciting, I can't wait to tell everyone !”

At that, Janus paused and turned around to face the other, wide-eyed. “What ?”

“Yeah, duh ! Just imagine if there are more mermaids like Logan ! We may be able to study them, and maybe study some others if we find them ! Like- Logan is obviously based off a blue shark, we both know it, but could you imagine if there were mermaids based off octopuses as well ? That would be incredible ! Do you think they have tentacles instead of human arms ?”

And, as much as Janus loved seeing his lover excited about xir work or special interests, his heart dropped. He left the fishing nest on the kitchen counter and approached xem with a frown on his face.

“Remus, this is out of the question. The idea sounds nice, I admit it, but you know what happens when people discover a new species- and we're not talking about any other fish, we're talking about fucking mermaids here.”

“No, but listen- we can protect them !”

“No we can't. We can't protect Logan or any other creature like this against literally _every single person_ coming for them. Could you possibly imagine how many fishers, how many scientists, how many poachers will try to hunt them down for their own profits ? You can't stop them all for the sake of preserving a whole new species, especially one so unique. We would be alone in this. Now if you'll excuse me,” he added, on his way to the laboratory.

“So what, we're just gonna ignore this !?” Remus moved so xe blocked Janus' path. “Look, we came here to find something to study, and we _finally_ did ! Why would you waste that opportunity ? Don't you care about our work !?”

As a response, Janus crossed his arms. “We won't say anything, and that is finale. Not even Roman, or Patton, or even Thomas, because you know damn well these three aren't able to keep a secret. As coworkers, we have to both agree on a decision before doing anything about it, and I _don't_ agree with this, so we're not telling anyone. Topic closed.” He sighed, taking a step back. “Of course we're gonna study them, Remus, but we can't tell anyone else. I'm counting on you.”

For a second, Janus thought Remus was gonna think about what he had said and apologize, but after a moment of silence, xe scoffed as xe rolled xir eyes.

“Fine, why do I care anyway. I proved you were wrong, and that's enough for me.”

Janus sighed again and, as Remus finally moved out of the way, grabbed the fishing nest he almost forgot and went to the laboratory. Remus stayed in the kitchen, but he couldn't care less at the moment. He didn't feel like talking.

* * *

  
_Third of August, 2020_

_Fuck everything I knew until this day. This is useless and I feel stupid._

Janus scrunched up his nose as he, for what felt like the umpteenth time, crossed another sentence he had written down. It wasn't the first time he was trying to keep a trace of their latest discovery, but he was still worked up after the fight with Remus. The latter had started cleaning up the kitchen once they were done eating in a mortifying silence, and Janus had tried working a little. Emphasize on the “try”.  
As he closed his notebook with a sigh, he got up from the couch and went where his partner still was. Xe were looking for something in the fridge, barely reacting when Janus cleared his throat behind xem.

“I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted.”

“Cool.”

Another sigh. “...See you tomorrow ?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Janus, as he was about to leave the room, stopped and groaned. “Seriously !? Are we actually gonna sulk over this !? Just because things don't always go your way doesn't mean you have the right to lash out against me !”

“Stop yelling at me !” Remus shouted back, slamming xir hands flat against xir ears.

“Shit- okay, I'm sorry.” He paused, taking a breath. “Let's just talk calmly, okay ?”

“I don't wanna talk about anything right now.” Slowly dropping xir hands, Remus didn't try facing xir boyfriend. “Just... go to bed. I'll join you later.”

And, as foolish as it may have been, Janus believed xem. Despite being deeply offended by xir previous proposition, he couldn't wait to feel his lover next to him as he drifted off to sleep, to hold xir hand and play with xir hair when xe was asleep.

Without any other word, he made his way to the bedroom, a part of him knowing he would be alone tonight.  
  


* * *

  
Janus woke up with a start, sweating, his heart racing as his hand immediately reached out to Remus, only to meet with a cold, empty space where his partner usually slept. He could barely remember what he had been dreaming about- hell, he didn't even remember falling asleep, but flashes of Remus being in danger and crying for help appeared before his eyes, and his stomach twitched.  
Still caught up in his nightmare, he got up from the bed and threw himself into the wheelchair nearby ; he didn't even bother to put his prosthetic on, it took too much time for the state he was currently in.

He left the room and started moving around the house as quickly as possible, but got his attention drawn by some noises in the living room ; it sounded like the television was still on. He carefully approached and spotted the other, curled up on the couch as xe was practically hugging one of the pillows. Xir messy hair was falling all over xir face, but Janus could very well see xe was sleeping.  
With a relieved sigh, slowly catching his breath, Janus turned off the television, then grabbed the folded plaid on the armchair that he draped over Remus, careful to cover xir shoulders as well. Even during summer, xe loved being wrapped in plaids or blankets, and couldn't have a good night of sleep unless xe had something covering xem.

What was he even thinking ? Of course it was just a nightmare, he _knew_ Remus was fine and probably just sleeping somewhere else. How could he have let his brain fool him like that ?

“Sweet dreams, love,” Janus whispered as he went back to the bedroom.

He knew trying to wake xem up was pointless ; mainly because being the stubborn idiot that xe was, xe would have insisted on sleeping on the couch after their last fight. That was fine by him, if sleeping in another room was all xe needed to see things clearly tomorrow. Janus was convinced he was in the right in this situation, and no matter how long Remus had decided to ignore him, he would never have changed his mind.

Still, knowing that xe was okay, despite being away from him that night, Janus slipped back in the bedroom, then under the covers and welcomed sleep back with open arms.


End file.
